It’s not easy to confess that I have an addiction to something that isn’t part of the gaming mainstream media, it’s even more harder to talk about it when you feel embarrassed about habits you’ve created for this obsession. While my blog isn’t a church, I find it easier to speak about my “sins” when it comes to being a gamer of this type of genre. Especially because I’m lover of certain genres, tropes, and cliches in Otomelandia and Visual Noveltopia that is on the forbidden side, per se.

“While my blog isn’t a church, I find it easier to speak about my ‘sins’ when it comes to being a gamer of this type of genre.”

In today’s blog, I’m going to talk about things that not many will talk about openly, or if they do, they feel a bit embarrassed to say it. Why? Perhaps, it may be because others may have said something (whether intentional or unintentional) and it triggered shame, causing them to withdraw from speaking outwardly about their passions or interests. Well today, I’m going to be shameless and just come right out with some ‘dirty laundry‘ of my own. Get the wine glasses, and chocolates, and indulge with me a bit on some visual novel filth.

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-ˏˋ♥̩͙♥̩̩̥͙♥̩̥̩ ⑅ Time to Go to Church ⑅ ♥̩̥̩♥̩̩̥͙♥̩͙ˊˎ

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“This character is easy to hate and difficult to consider falling in love with, since there are many triggers this archetype presents.“

It should be no surprise that I love stories with Yanderes, and the reason for it is not as crazy as you think. I love horror movies, and the adrenaline rush of a good story that involves the MC trying to figure out who the killer is or solve the mystery before everyone winds up dead has always intrigued me in TV Series such as Murder, She Wrote, Sherlock Holmes, and many more. Now, when it comes to a Yandere story, you already know who you are faced with, and who it is you have to either kill or persuade to change their ways. This character is easy to hate and difficult to consider falling in love with, since there are many triggers this archetype presents.

For anyone who is a lover of true crime (like myself)… We do question if there is something wrong with us for listening or liking these types of content a little too… obsessively…? Well, there are actually several articles written about people’s fancy towards these types of stories, media, etc… and why they like them.

“Evil fascinates us.”

Mental Floss

Even as kids, we’re drawn to the tension between good and evil, and true crime embodies our fascination with that dynamic.

We want to figure out what drove these people to this extreme act, and what makes them tick, because we’d never actually commit murder.-Mental Floss

The statement from Mental Floss helps solidify the concept of why some of us like Yanderes. It’s a similar concept, evil fascinates us, and while we know what the character is doing is wrong. We as the audience are wrapped in a comfortable vestibule, watching from a “distance” as the dark actions of the characters and the relationship between the two people unfolds. The constructs between good and evil, fear, anxiety, mystery, and thrill–is diabolical and yet it still draws in audiences to theaters and to the TV.

When I dive into an otome, and I find myself face to face with a Yandere, I find myself wanting to understand the mindset of this person who acts upon these ideals of obsession of loving someone. I always question… How does one come to this point of addicted behavior? Poking, dissecting, and breaking apart the seams of a character is something I always find myself doing. Yes, that sounds dark, because it is. See… If I’ve learned anything from True Crime and Yanderes, it that the most defining aspect of liking this type of medis is the emotion that we tend to hide from the world and we hate looking at, fear.

“The public is drawn to true crime because it triggers the most basic and powerful emotion in all of us—fear.” 

TIME

I do love my otome games, but I find myself being attracted to games that allow us also be a male MC. Note, otome games are female x male and male x male is considered BL visual novels, so they are two entirely different genres. However, indie creators have been awesome as hell into incorporating both genders into the game, and breaking the barriers for romances in the field of VNs. I find myself partial to playing as a male character versus female, it happens to be my default preference even in JRPGs and RPGs.

Playing as a male in games, I feel gives more freedom, and I like the aspect that I can answer like how I normally speak to friends, my husband, and family.

However, this is my preference, just like how I have male gamer friends who like playing as female characters in Final Fantasy XI, and Final Fantasy XV. When asking my friends why they preferred female characters versus males, they stated that female characters in games have more versatile capabilities than the male counterparts, which makes the game more engaging for them. Others have chosen to state it’s for aesthetic reasons (LOL). I can understand everyone’s reasons–It really comes down to what our preferences are and how we just like to game.

“It really comes down to what our preferences are and how we just like to game.“

Whether it’s for otome or other visual novel type games, I’m down for dark romance in any time. Whether that includes BDSM, blood play, and bedroom bully behavior (written and executed correctly), I have a hard time finding others who have a similar a interest. However, to each their own, and while there are plenty of trashy type visual novels out there that go off the road crazy, there are the good VNs out there that are really grand to play.

In most BL Games you can find dark romance and taboo elements implemented in it versus Otome Games (unless you can find the off MSM type ones like Fashioning Little Miss Lonesome and others that need an English patch). I have an idea as to why dark romances aren’t used as often in otome games, considering there’s plenty of triggers, and sometimes game creators will miss the mark on a perfectly solid character development and romance between protag and his/her LI.

However, when we do find the goods ones, like Ikemen Sengoku’s Kenshin Uesagi’s or Toma from Amnesia & Amnesia After routes, their is a lot of substance and plot building involved. Which creates the backdrop for readers to be more interested in how to understand the character’s habits, and also help break him away from his obsessive need to always protect everything he loves by keeping them locked up. You’ll have to read their stories and dissect their thoughts thoroughly to grasp their mindset, but overall their stories were very well done for both a Yandere/Dark Romance story.

I feel that when I talk about sex, it’s a taboo subject with other people. When it comes to visual novels, I can’t really find many who would like to discuss about the characters “making-love” scenes in a game. Even talking about the depiction of a CG with a penis makes people blush, but I guess I’m desensitized, due to my work in the medical field.

“how the f*ck, is that gonna fit in a vagina or the anus, because… Holy Uncanny Photographic Mental Processes Batman! OUCH!?!“

Before I got into visual novels and otomes, I read a lot of romance novels. It was always hard to find groups that shared the same passions as I do, since I believe in HEA or HFN endings IRL besides fictional life. I’d say it was really hard to have any discussion with any, because romance and sex seemed to be taboo, or some would take the act of sex to a more extreme level that I wasn’t sure how to respond.

My discussions would generally be about how either the scene was romantic, hot, sweet, or boring– or with me saying: “that elephant trunk of a penis will not fit in any hole in the human body… There is not an attic in the anus or vagina, and if humans have learned to unhinge their jaws like a snake. There’s just no way, unless science has proven we can do so. If that’s the case, someone please send me a medical study that will explain how this will fit into someone’s body…”

Either way, I give credit where credit is due, and I give flack to stories that say the LI’s appendage is the size of a cannon. Because.. Let’s be honest how the f*ck, is that gonna fit in a vagina or the anus, because Holy Uncanny Photographic Mental Processes Batman! OUCH..?! Otherwise, I like seeing the MC fall in love and get to do the bedroom tango with their LI of choice, who hopefully has a proportional sized appendage.

Probably my most biggest, baddest, and darkest issue of my love for these visual novels AND OTOMES…

Buying multiple copies of the same game for different gaming platforms, even when I already have it in my collection. It’s a bad habit, and yet, I don’t know if it really is one, but I only do this for games that I really love. A good example of games I’ve bought multiple copies for different consoles is Code:Realize ~Guardian of Rebirth~ and Code:Realize ~Future Blessings~, these games were originally ported to PSVita awhile back ago, but they were recently brought to the Nintendo Switch last year and this year.

There are a couple more that I’ve bought on different platforms, which includes but aren’t limited to… Persona 4, Amnesia Memories of No One, Hakuoki: Edo Blossoms, Hakuoki: Kyoto Winds, Our Two Bedroom Story, etc.. I bought these games again for the Switch, Computer, 3DS, PS4, PSVita and … Mobile. Yes, some will say it’s a waste of money, however for me, I don’t think so, especially if it means letting the game developers know that I WANT THEM TO KEEP BRINGING MORE GAMES HERE. I have multiple copies of my favorite games, and I want more than anything to keep supporting the developers to keep localizing other games that have yet to come to the US market.

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-ˏˋ♥̩͙♥̩̩̥͙♥̩̥̩ ⑅ Gray’s Corner ⑅ ♥̩̥̩♥̩̩̥͙♥̩͙ˊˎ

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Maybe I’ll do more confessions in the future, but I’ll just stick with expressing these ‘sins’ for now. I want to say that a few of the items on here is a bit demure compared to other dirty secrets in my closet, but I’ll save that for another time. While I know there are others out there who have a similar disposition like myself with confessing our visual novel sins. I hope my blog speaks a along the lines of certain scenarios we are usually told to keep behind closed doors.

“Now that I’ve washed out some of my dirty laundry and hung it out for others to see, there will probably be a bit more of these kinds of thoughts and talks on the blog in future installations. But until then…”

As always, thanks for stopping by in my corner of the blogosphere, and see you on the gaming side~!